Wednesday, July 22, 2015
yeah' what can i say i need to write and create get away and move on so many peoples sadneaa and thoughta i feel then and i feel like crying like bawling up alittlw circle something feela empty and connection with the my spirit' why do they watch over me' why am i crazy' why cant i be normal and not feel anymore' i disgust myself' i know what i have done and i desire to be forgiven : for what though it gets dark and every night reminds me pf thos emptyneas: i'm not here to impress you but i am' i am vanity and i dont want to admit it' i dont care to i want to go away and never come back: i have to master these human emotions: i want to be myself but i dont know how: i feel silly once the anxienty goes away or that feeling of whatever : i call it anxienty becauae thats how you might relate to me: do you relate to me? the collective thought is going to give me money: thia delusion' thia pains me' thia reAlity; where i'm not strong enough: i want to sell everything' i want to let go of everything: i want to break free' i dont know me: i know the collective mind that decides my actiona but i dont care enough: i really am just like you another drone: a robot with a soul looking to go home: why did i come to this plane? what posible interest could have brought me here: family; friends, fame, fourtune' what is that? what is this capturing event that wont let us develop: i'm not greedy enough: i dont have enough gannas' i dont care for it' i cry more then i admit to: i carry no weight and every single ounce known to mankind: i'm afraid of your judgment; i'm afraid of not becoming who i thought i could be' thinking can kill people and so can doing' maybe its a welcome vacation' to thw other realities i cared not for' ita dangerous out here' & i dont want to be part of this game yet i am the main protagonist : i am gods hero' i am omnipotent' i am free' i am wireless ' i am thought form' i am a child' pretending to be a grown up' i hope you never aee through me and always see me in the best light' i hope you only see Dorian and never my portrait' for if you know my real me: you will see i am far too old to give a damn and to give a damn is to be old'